


broken like me

by tzxmus



Series: Sammi's Old Threadfics [1]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Angst, Angst with a Hopeful Ending, Bullying, Child Abandonment, Child Abuse, Child Neglect, Death Threats, Depressed Miya Atsumu, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Found Family, Miya Atsumu Needs a Hug, Omega Miya Atsumu, Other, Sad Miya Atsumu, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, Suicidal Thoughts, Team as Family, atsusuna best friends, mentioned abortion, mentioned sexual assault
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-09
Updated: 2021-03-09
Packaged: 2021-03-16 10:53:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,139
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29948889
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tzxmus/pseuds/tzxmus
Summary: Omega Atsumu is given abnormally strong pheromones with a side of pain and suffering.
Relationships: Akagi Michinari & Miya Atsumu, Kita Shinsuke & Miya Atsumu, Miya Atsumu & Inarizaki Volleyball Club, Miya Atsumu & Miya Osamu, Miya Atsumu & Suna Rintarou
Series: Sammi's Old Threadfics [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2202318
Kudos: 62





	broken like me

**Author's Note:**

> tw ; child abuse + child neglect + self harm + mentioned sexual assault + self-esteem issues + mentioned abortion + child abandonment + bullying + death threats + suicidal thoughts

Miya Atsumu has always been told he would present as Alpha, his confidence and outspoken nature were things everyone related to Alphas. Besides that, the first day the twins began to present, Atsumu's pheromones had overwhelmed Osamu to the point both boys had to be separated.

Osamu finishes presenting first as an Alpha, much to everyone's surprise because the calmer (secretly a clown) twin was suspected to be a Beta. Nope, Miya Twins always know how to surprise people. Their parents are ecstatic because two Alphas? That's better than anything they ever hoped for.

But, then Atsumu presents with a strange smell, one of flowers (I was thinking of freesias, which have hints of honey and mint) with a sweetness and freshness that is a little too soft to be Alpha. Overwhelmingly sweet that draws people closer, hard for Alphas and some Betas to ignore. Osamu is the first to realize when he finds Atsumu hiding in their shared bedroom, wrapped in Osamu's blankets and whimpering as his scent travels throughout the house, that Atsumu is Omega.

And his parents are not happy.

Omegas are disgraces. It's no wonder, his parents realized, why Atsumu was messier than Osamu, why he was always disobedient, why he was a mischievous brat, why people always complained about Atsumu. His hair was lighter than Osamu's too, they should have realized this before. The dumb and useless Atsumu who only cared about sports and could never even bring home friends, it all made sense why he was the worse twin.

Atsumu is Omega.

At first, his parents try to hide his second gender, forcing him to use stronger blockers right after he presents (which is a bad idea because they harm the "wounded" scent glands) and refuses to allow him to take them off until Atsumu gets sick and Osamu has to physically carry Atsumu home after he faints in practice. The doctor tells the family to allow him to rest his scent glands because there are a few issues with blockers:

1: Stronger blockers are usually reserved for adults with stronger bodies, not developing thirteen year olds.

2: Leaving them on for more than eight hours can cause swelling or infections.

3: Atsumu's body began to reject the stronger blockers.

Atsumu never complained about wearing them because if he could stop the smell, would his parents accept him? Would they stop yelling about him during the night? Would they stop glaring at him over the dinner table? Would they stop throwing his things away to stop the smell from entering the house?

Could his parents love him if he stopped smelling like an Omega?

But, once the doctor tells the Miyas to stop making Atsumu wear blockers until his scent glands heal, his parents stop caring completely. Atsumu prepares his own meals and does his own chores (constantly to "wash out" his pheromones). He has to go to school by walking or by bus because "There is no way that damn Omega is allowed into my car!" He constantly lied to Osamu, telling him he needed extra practice, going to school earlier and leaving school later.

Days and nights became a game of how to avoid his parents, who would constantly scold Atsumu for doing anything. "Scolding" and "punishments" became punches and kicks, throwing tableware at the boy when Osamu wasn't home.

Atsumu took it. He was used to people disliking him, used to not having friends, but these were his  _ parents _ . If he could make them happy, that would definitely make them love him again, wouldn't it?

Atsumu, in an attempt to ignore everything at home, stays at school as much as possible to "practice volleyball" or to "study". The more time he spent training his muscles, the more time he, unintentionally, made made his pheromones stronger.

Scent blockers are not enough to stop the overwhelming smell of flowers. Even so, he continues to use the strongest scent blockers he can find, leaving them on for up to fourteen hours at a time.

Each day, his health deteriorates right before Osamu's eyes, but he does not understand what was wrong with his brother. Omegas and Alphas face different problems, and Osamu does not really understand heats like Atsumu knows nothing (or Osamu assumed) about ruts. This is why he barely questions how Atsumu's heats are always the worst.

Atsumu would silently sob into Osamu's blankets, wrapped in an Alpha's scent as he writhed in pain.

During his first heat, his pheromones filled the room to the point that if Osamu opened the door, he would be hit in the face with flowers. It was too overbearing for his parents, making them leave the house for Osamu to take care of his twin brother.

The most recent heat, during his first year in high school, Atsumu's heat started early, while he was changing out of his volleyball uniform because Kita Shinsuke (Beta) told him to go home when he felt unwell. With stronger pheromones, his heats made them worse. The smell leaked through the cracks in the door, filling the entire building of sports club changing rooms. This would originally be no problem because practice usually still had another hour.

Maybe fate hates him because some clubs ended early to rest before a competition. And, oh, how could unmated Alphas and (some) Betas stop themselves from just a sniff?

The door is locked, but Atsumu cannot do much else in his heat state besides crawl into a corner and bury his swollen scent glands, which are  _ burning _ , into one of Osamu's jackets. He huddles there, his phone near his locker a few meters away from him, his mind going completely blank as he listens to people bang on the door.

The shouts become white noise, muffled as Atsumu whimpers because the stronger Alpha pheromones are slipping into the room as well. The order to move and open the door, to let the horde in, is dragging Atsumu up to his feet, his brother's scent of a mix of fresh cookies and firewood discarded on the floor. About to open the door, to submit and to let himself be taken by whoever bursts through the door, he is once again smothered in firewood, the nearly burning smell sending Atsumu whining onto the floor.

"What the fuck are you doing?!" Can be heard through the door. Atsumu curls into a ball as shouts echo through the room, the door slamming open to reveal his frantic brother in front of him. The cries of "Tsumu?!" meet deaf ears, Atsumu arms reach towards Osamu instinctively as the Alpha hurries to comfort him.

With Shinsuke and Rintarou in the room, they can only wrap the boy in scented clothes, hoping to muffle the smell. Omegas in heat must not wear blockers unless they want to permanently damage them.

Osamu throws the blockers out the window when Atsumu tries to put them on. Shinsuke recommends having their parents pick up the boy to limit the dangers of public transit or walking. When Osamu calls with Atsumu's phone, since his is still in the gym, he is answered by his mother.

Without listening for a moment, he is told to "Stop fucking calling me, you disgusting Omega!"

The phone call ends before Osamu can respond. He sits there in shock, Atsumu's hands clenching over his brother's clothes as he begins to cry. Heats can make people a little more expressive than normal.

"I am sorry, Ma, Pa... I am sorry." His words are slurred together, his voice cracking as he trembles against Osamu.

Shinsuke offers his device to call anyone else, but Osamu's angry pheromones fill the room again, dialing his father's number because maybe his mother is just having a bad day. There is no way his  _ mother _ can say that about her son, right?

No one answers the call.

By the fifth call, he is angrily texting for his father to answer his goddamn phone because it is an emergency!

"This number has blocked you." is written on the screen.

Rintarou is not playing any games. Not with his best friend crying beside him, clutching onto anything to stop the obvious pain he was in.

He calls his own parents to bring them home, Shinsuke leaving the room to steal more clothes for Atsumu to hide himself in.

Rintarou's parents arrive in ten minutes to bring Akagi Michinari (Omega that was holding back the Alphas in the team from breaking in and from beating anyone up), Shinsuke, Rintarou, Osamu, and Atsumu to a safe place for his heat.

Atsumu makes his first proper nest in Rintarou's house, claiming a spare guest room with Osamu to cling onto him until he cries himself to sleep.

No one leaves the Suna household that night.

Once Atsumu has fully dozed off, Osamu tries to leave his side to talk to the others, only for Atsumu to nearly startle awake, Osamu instantly falling back onto the mattress to let his brother hold him.

No one disturbs them for the next day, only offering food when Osamu leaves the room and providing medicine for the tired Omega.

Rintarou does not ask Atsumu what happened when the worst of the heat is over. Osamu left the room because even though Atsumu refused to answer any questions, he realized the truth.

"What happened, Tsumu?"

Atsumu had given a smile, too small on his face.

"Do ma and pa do this all the time?"

Atsumu dropped his head, his gaze locked on the floor as he hugged Rintarou's blankets closer.

"Since when?"

Osamu did not need a verbal answer because he could see to the glistening tears that refused to fall from his brother's eyes.

Why had Osamu never noticed?

Since when?

It has been since the very beginning.

There are no words as Rintarou offered his scent to help his uncomfortable best friend, opening his arms and letting the flowers be enveloped by tea. Releasing a little more than usual, letting his friend just hug him, if Atsumu cries right there, neither would ever say.

Shinsuke has to hold Osamu back from running back to beat someone up. His Alpha pheromones fill the kitchen, making Michinari rush towards Atsumu's room to make sure the Omega was not smelling any of it because Alphas can make Omegas' heats worse if their pheromones are too strong.

Shinsuke sits with the Alpha, listening as he growls and sobs at the same time, questions of "How could they do this? To Tsumu?!" and "Why did he not tell me? I would have helped him!"

He had no answer because he also does not understand why. Atsumu is an Omega, but does that even matter?

No one can say much of anything to comfort either twin.

Rintarou's parents are the ones to sit Atsumu down at the dinner table after returning home from work, offering him a place to stay for as long as he needs.

Shinsuke and Michinari are invited to stay, and they both do because it is clear that Atsumu does not want them to go by the way he clings by their sides whenever Rintarou or Osamu are busy.

Osamu makes dinner with Shinsuke, allowing Rintarou's mom to talk to Atsumu.

Maybe he is just emotional because of his heat, maybe he is just more sensitive, maybe he just was used to crying throughout his heat, but all it took was hearing her voice, so gentle and sweet, to make him cry.

"Atsumu, sweetie"—Rintarou held his hand beneath the table, Michinari actively releasing the smell of citrus to ease his sobs and hiccups—"you can stay here as long as you want. If you need anything, we will be here."

"Do you want to talk about it?" Michinari asks, whispering as if everyone's attention was not on Atsumu.

Atsumu's head shakes back and forth, shakes away the thoughts as Rintarou's grip tightens over his hands. Talk about what? There was nothing to talk about. He presented as Omega and lives the consequences of being Omega. It was his fault anyway. He should have bought more meds, remembered his heat would come soon, that way Osamu would still be ignorant about everything.

Under her breath, as if she understands why he did not reply, the female Omega smiles, "Sweetheart, if not now, just remember there are people you can rely on. Being Omega, no matter what they say, is not a bad thing."

The words linger in the air for a moment before Atsumu nods his head, leaning against Michinari as Rintarou pulls away to help set the table.

They do not talk about the matter again for the rest of the night.

Osamu is clearly restless, constantly glancing at his brother, but the Suna family easily redirects conversation away from the boy to let him silently eat.

And even if some will deny it, seeing their friend giggling, buried in a hoodie a size too big for him, was a relief.

Rintarou's parents insist on Atsumu staying in the house until his heat is fully over to limit the chances of Atsumu being hurt, and he is too tired to really argue. He ends up staying for the rest of the week (Are heats just periods but worse?). Osamu returns home alone without telling Atsumu. Rintarou is a little bit of an idiot sometimes, though, because when he walks home without Osamu, Atsumu  _ knows _ .

He is not dumb, well maybe he is since he is Omega, but not that dumb. He knows Osamu well enough to know.

Osamu was a protective Alpha, and Atsumu was surely one of the most important things to him (even if Osamu would deny and Atsumu would never understand why). Osamu was a  _ stupid _ , protective Alpha who was about to do something completely dumb.

Atsumu forces his way out of the house, despite Rintarou's shouts. Because Atsumu is a care-taking Omega, one that can handle it all as long as his dumb brother was safe.

Frantic pheromones fill the neighborhood as he runs, his best friend right behind him to stop him from drawing attention from Alphas. They are only a few blocks away from his house, a fifteen minute run, tops.

But, why does each step drag him closer to the ground? Why is there a burn spreading from his sweat glands to every centimeter of his body? Why are the streets wavering in front of his eyes?

Why is Osamu not with him?

"Atsumu!" Rintarou's voice is drowned by the familiar sound of doors slamming and glass shattering, the boy tripping as his head spun towards the house cast in shadows.

Beautifully painted walls with a decorated garden welcomes him, a familiar brunette standing and growling at the front door, "Stay the fuck away from Tsumu and I—"

Osamu recognized the scent before his thought was finished, his body stiffening as he turned around, his brother hanging against Rintarou.

"Samu..."

"Tsumu? You—"

"Why did you do that?"

The male rushed towards his brother, the sadness and regret seeping into the air as the older male stood with a blank stare. "It does not matter. Are you alright—"

"Samu, you are so dumb..." With two tremblings hands catching onto Osamu's, he  _ begs _ , "Just apologize... Please, do not do this..."

Osamu can barely formulate a response. Why the hell is his obnoxious old brother begging him to do anything? Why the hell is he supposed to apologize for reprimanding the adults that hurt his older brother?!

The door flings open, the wood ready to fly off the hinges. Atsumu can barely move, flinching back, as screams echo through the streets.

"What the hell is wrong with you Atsumu?!"

"Why did you ever have to present?!"

"You smell is disgusting! Put on the damn blockers!"

"Why do you ruin everything?!"

Osamu's Alpha pheromones start to heighten as the panic makes Atsumu's flowers sharpen, even Rintarou gasping out as people start to drift closer. He opens his mouth to snarl—

"Why were you ever born?! You are so fucking disgusting!"

Osamu lunges towards them, growling at the Alpha and Beta, the class of dominating pheromones either making the Betas and Omegas rush away, waves of dizziness and heat washing over them.

Neither Rintarou or Atsumu can gather the energy to run when outside Alphas draw closer, the one meant to protect them screaming at his father (Alpha) and mother (Beta).

"What the fuck is wrong with you?! How can you say that—!"

"I should have gotten rid of him when I was still pregnant!"

And Atsumu blanches. Gotten rid of him? But, if they had gotten rid of him, then what about Osamu?

Their golden child, the stronger and smarter Alpha... were they willing to get rid of both of them? Did they hate Atsumu that much that even their love for Osamu couldn't overcome?

The Inarizaki team arrives before the fight can continue (Rintarou called Shinsuke for help the moment Osamu told him he was returning home). It takes Ojiro Aran (Alpha) to drag a screaming Osamu away by the waist, everyone else scaring off the nearing Alphas as Michinari just crumples under the smell.

Rintarou does not argue when Atsumu buries himself deeper against him, his scent glands feeling as if a blade was dragging across the patch of skin and ripping them apart.

Osamu continues fighting, physically retrained, when Rintarou snapped, "Get over here and help you damn brother, you dumb Alpha!"

And that is all it takes for Osamu to fall still. Without even trying to calm the anger and hatred in his pheromones, he runs to his brother and helps escort the pained Omegas away.

They vow to make sure Atsumu does not return home again.

Rintarou's parents and Shinsuke's grandmother do not question their request for Atsumu and Osamu to stay indefinitely. Instead, Rintarou's parents instantly welcome him in with a warm cooked meal, some extra clothes, and a futon to sleep on while they check for mattresses.

Over the phone, Shinsuke's grandmother chuckles and offers the guest bedroom whenever they need it. However, with her old age, the two would probably need to help around the house to pay for "rent", which Atsumu continues to bring up in an attempt to deny the adults.

No one accepts it anyway, Osamu already schemed a way to sneak back into their old house to steal back some clothes and important items the next day, when his parents are at work. The only issue, which was rather big, was the legality of "kidnapping" the runaway Miya twins.

Atsumu shakes his head, his words slurred and his eyes hazy. Laying his head on Michinari's lap, he mumbles, "There is nothing to worry about. In order to drag Osamu home, they will need to pretend they care and love me."

No one responds for a moment, but Aran instantly holds Osamu down with Ginjima Hitoshi (Alpha) to stop him from running back home to fight his parents again.

In any case, staying with the Suna and Kita families was weird for Atsumu. The situation makes little sense, their actions make even less. Why do they never raise their voice? Why do they not yell or hit him? Why is each day so  _ calm _ ?

It doesn't not make sense, what is going on? Why do they continue making him dinner and inviting him to the dinner table? Why are they always so gentle?

He cries himself to sleep, like before, except he is wrapped in a blanket and his body is not sore. 

And if he can't sleep, Rintarou and Shinsuke are ready to hold him and Osamu would prepare food at a moment's notice. Atsumu dares to think it would get better.

Then, he returns to school.

After taking a few weeks off (because heats are like periods— just way worse), he is ready to return to school, to volleyball, to normalcy. He returned to ripped notebooks and angry scribbles on his desk.

Atsumu being Omega was never a secret, but it was also never explicitly told to the school. He used blockers, acted like a traditional Alpha, and did not have heats in school. News on how Atsumu went into heat, effectively "harming" the sports teams traveled quickly and the harassment followed after.

How dare he, a lowly Omega, do something to tarnish the school name and bring harm to the Alphas?

How dare he lie?

It started out smaller, snide comments in the hall and "accidental" shoves. But, the verbal became physical the moment people realized Atsumu was not constantly protected.

The volleyball team tries their best to stay with him, to keep him safe, but he spends classes alone. Old habits die hard because he still goes to school and goes home alone, attempts to avoid people leading him into confrontations.

People corner him, ready to paint him black and blue with punches and kicks, anything to show him his place. He would always try to fight back at first, until they utter a single line that always makes him stiffen.

"It is your fault everything is ruined! This school, the volleyball team,  _ your brother _ "—and Atsumu could do nothing but muffle his cries of pain, the energy to throw them off escaping him.

The distressed scent would seep past his blockers, his pheromones too strong when for them when emotional.

This continues for around a month. For a month, Atsumu is offered knives, ropes, and pills to help kill himself. For a month, Atsumu, who was already too accustomed to hiding everything away, pretended he was okay while being beat up.

Michinari was the one to find out during his next heat, when he could barely control his own mind from overthinking.

To keep him safe, only Omegas are allowed to be near him. Michinari, Rintarou's mother, and Shinsuke's grandmother are the ones who provide him with everything he needs. Betas and Alphas are assigned to either protect the premises or to keep themselves under control.

So, with only Michinari in the room beside him, huddling in Atsumu's nest filled with his teammates' clothes, he speaks. "What is wrong with me? Why do I ruin everything? If I just did not exist, would things be better?

"For Samu, I took everything from him... If I was better, if I just did not bother him, maybe he would have been better. He refuses to talk about ma and pa anymore... But they were  _ happy _ .

"They were a  _ family _ , Akagi-san...

"And now I just bother everyone. I always bother everyone. They have to suffer because I am alive... If I was not Omega, if I was not me, everything would have been better...! Why was I born, Akagi-san?

"Why am I alive?

"It would be better if I just died—"

His voice cracks when he pauses, tears streaming down his cheeks. His nails dig into his arm until he rips red marks across the tanned skin. When Michinari tugs his hands away to hold.

Honestly, Michinari is not sure how to respond, what is correct to say. They are similar in personality and interests, he is one of Atsumu's best friends, and he is an Omega too. But, he definitely did not experience the same things. How can he even comfort him?

"No, no, Atsumu. There is nothing wrong with you. Nothing, not your second gender, regardless of what your parents said. But, your feelings are not wrong either, you know?

"You have us because we are your friends. You are not a bother, you are not a burden, you have done nothing wrong. You can rely on us more, you know? If you feel these things, we are here...

"You probably will not believe me, and it is okay if you do not right now, but I will tell you and show you every time. We are here because we love you. There is nothing that would be better without you, Tsumu.

"You make us happy, you always look after us and care about us. We are friends and we love you, you know?"

Atsumu cannot do anything more than bury his face into the shorter boy's shoulder, hiccuping out broken breaths as Michinari gently pats his head.

"It is not your fault, you know? Whatever your parents said, whatever they did, it was not your fault. You are not at fault for someone else hurting you... and it is okay if you feel these things.

"We are here, Tsumu... We love you... It is okay to rely on us..."

Atsumu does not believe him, but it is a start. When Michinari leads him by the hand, he finally tells everyone what happened. Even with gaps in his explanations, everyone listens attentively because for the first time, Atsumu is  _ talking _ to them.

And maybe he can heal.

**Author's Note:**

> I thought I lost this thread because I couldn't find it, but here it is!


End file.
